Panic and Isolation

On Friday, shortly after arriving at her school retreat, my 14-year old daughter called home and said that she didn't feel well and wanted to come home. With kids, it's sometimes hard to know what's a real illness and what's exhaustion or indigestion. She was in the Berkshire mountains, about a two hour drive away, and I was just lighting the Sabbath candles. I don't drive on the Sabbath, so unless it was a life threatening illness, she was to rest up and we would touch base after nightfall on Saturday night.

Saturday afternoon, I got a call from the parent who had brought her up to the retreat. Normally, I don't pick up the phone on the Sabbath, but when my caller ID identified the caller as from the campsite, I picked up, concerned that my daughter had taken a turn for the worse.

The mom carefully explained that Sara had slept most of the day, seemed to have a fever, and was resting comfortably in her room. I asked if she felt that her symptoms were life threatening in any way, and she assured me that they were not. She then said something that greatly disturbed me. She reported that people were panicking. "Are they that concerned about my daughter?" I wondered. "No, they are concerned that she has the Swine Flu and they will all catch it! People are leaving the camp."

Sara was quarantined. Many parents were speaking behind my back and criticizing me and my ex for being bad parents and sending her to the retreat, posing a threat to all the attendees. Apparently, there were other kids who had a fever and were allowed free reign of the camp.

When the Sabbath ended, Sara's dad and I made the two hour trek in the pouring rain to the mountain retreat. Sara sounded great on the phone. She didn't feel sick. She was just angry. She felt that she was being treated unfairly. She told me that she felt like the children who had leprosy in the 1920's who were quarantined, removed from their parents' homes, and brought to the island of Molokai in Hawaii.

On Sunday, I spoke to a lot of people about the Swine Flu. It seems that if anyone is sick with the flu right now, it is probably the Swine Flu. Many more people have died from the more common strand of the flu than from the Swine Flu. 

I feel that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. I am a firm believer in taking responsibility for educating yourself. Whenever I am faced with an illness, I take it upon myself to learn as much as I can. Only then can I choose the right doctor or the right type of medication that will work for me or my family.

I encourage you to educate yourself before jumping to any conclusions. The pain that can be caused by misunderstandings is far reaching. I can't blame the parents for misunderstanding my daughter's illness, but I can be angry that they treated her as a pariah. I can be sad that she felt left out and isolated. That I was criticized for my so-called poor parenting skills. 

Let's do ourselves a favor and become well-informed. Only then can we have compassion for the plight of someone suffering from an illness that we don't yet understand.