Making the Best of a Situation

In a few hours, I will be heading to my summer home in beautiful New Hampshire. Before you get exotic visions of my second country home, let me clarify: My New Hampshire digs consist of a moldy room in a sleep away camp. I work as an art director for two months so that my youngest daughter can go to camp.

About ten years ago, I began working in sleep away camps as art director. I had never attended camp, but in high school, my friends had raved about their camp experience as the highlight of their year. So, when the opportunity presented itself, I jumped on it. Most of my kids have enjoyed camp, but my youngest daughter, the only one who goes with me to this camp, is in love with camp. She lives for camp. She tolerates the other ten months of the year in anticipation of camp. 

I, however, do not LOVE camp. I do not enjoy many aspects of the camp, and this year it is going to be particularly challenging for me to work with some of the people at camp. After a lot of soul searching, I decided to go back to camp for a number of reasons:

Here's what I like:

1) No cooking, shopping for food, cleaning dishes for two months! 

2) I only have to take care of me, so I have much free time to create, play, have fun.

3) I meet and reconnect with a whole new community of friends in camp.

4) I love working with the kids who choose art as an elective, where I have small groups and form close relationships with campers.

5) I love the spirit at camp, especially the singing, dancing, and creativity of color war and camp play.

6) This is the best barter ever: free camp for my child! ($8,000 savings)

So, late last night, when my son decided that he no longer wanted to work with my oldest daughter at a local day camp (the job starts tomorrow!), I focused on being open and positive in order to help my kids work through this dilemma.

My daughter was angry that he wasn't honoring his commitment to her or to the camp director, fearful of who she might end up working with in his place. My son was feeling really anxious about the fact that he was the only boy working at the camp, and he was uncomfortable with the idea of changing diapers, talking to parents, and speaking to three year olds for five hours a day. While I calmly listened to both kids, I was able to see the wisdom in each perspective. I empathized with each side, and they each felt heard. By the time we all went to sleep, everyone was in a more peaceful place. 

And while it is not always possible to make everyone happy, it is possible to change your perspective. I look forward to focusing on all the positive experiences I will have this summer, and I trust that my kids will find a way to make this a summer to remember. 

As Jean Nedetch said, "It’s choice-not chance-that determines your destiny." What will you choose to focus on this summer?