Overcoming Fear

When I was 8 years old, I moved from Atlanta, Georgia to Long Branch, New Jersey. I soon became best friends with freckle-faced Susie. I think we became fast friends because she was bright, creative, and fun. We spent a lot of time together in and out of school. I slept over on weekends and she slept at my house, too.

One Saturday, when we were around 11 years old, we decided to take a walk on the wild side, that is we crossed over the railroad tracks, the dividing line between the white neighborhood where my family lived, and the African American neighborhood across the tracks. This was back in the sixties, when segregation was still very prevalent in most of America. Somehow we knew never to cross the line. But Susie and I were bold and daring, and we decided to do the dangerous thing.

It was titillating to go into uncharted territory, and we loved the excitement of going into this forbidden part of town. On the way home, a group of African American girls, probably our age, pulled up on their bicycles and began to taunt us. They shouted, “Did you say something to me, girl?” to which we answered, “No”. They hovered nearby and began to threaten us. Susie started running really fast. She was always a faster runner than I, and I remember the fear that took over my body. I really thought I was going to get killed and for a moment, I stood paralyzed, unable to move.

My fight or flight instinct took over, and I began to run, my heart beating wildly in my chest. I ran as fast as I could, the sound of the girls’ laughter fading in the distance, as I finally reached the tracks and crossed over to the safety of my neighborhood.

That feeling of extreme fear, of feeling abandoned, and then surviving and overcoming fear, is a feeling I still carry with me today. I learned some valuable lessons on that day.

1) If someone doesn’t come through for you, come through for yourself. You are all you’ve got sometimes, and you need to pool all your resources in order to get through tough times.

2) Most threats are just that -- baseless and harmless. I didn’t know that then, but I know now. Look fear straight in the eye and be bold. Courage will follow.

3) You are stronger than you think. When times get tough, I get tougher. Crisis makes me stronger. Use your inner resources and grow from your trials. They are the best teachers in life.

Share a story with me about crisis and courage. I would love to hear how you were effected.