My client came to the call yesterday exhausted and overwhelmed. Seven months pregnant and suffering from Vertigo and low iron, her energy level was way off. She began the call focused on what wasn't working in her life. What was remarkable to me is that she was missing a noteworthy victory that she had orchestrated that week. She was so focused on what wasn't going well that she missed what was working.How often do we focus on the missing pieces, what we haven't yet accomplished? How much time do we spend beating ourselves up for what we did wrong or didn't make time for?
What I know for sure is that when we focus our energy on what is working well, we are much happier. Our self-esteem rises a few notches. We feel we can accomplish even more, and we are forward-driven instead of stuck and grumpy.
I let my client vent for a few minutes yesterday, but it would not have served her to whine and complain for longer than that. I quickly reframed what she had accomplished that week. I acknowledged the grace and intelligence that she consistently applies to any difficult challenge. And I let her know how amazing she is for sticking to her clear values even when times are challenging, even when it goes against the status quo.
She left the call upbeat and excited to move towards her resonant goals. She has such a breadth of capabilities, and she can easily lose sight of them. I reminded her that whenever she feels distraught, she need only look at what she accomplished this past week. It was a stellar example of the strong values that comprise the unique human that she is.
While it's important to reflect on what didn't work in life, I believe it's only good to look there if the purpose is to learn and grow and move forward. Otherwise you stay stuck. And stuck stinks!
Spend some time today in reflection of how far you've come. List five remarkable things you accomplished this year. Share them here if you like. I would love to celebrate with you!
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Absolutely lovely post! One thing I used to do for my clients was to give them a journal and tell them to write 5 things good that happened each week. Then when we met, I would allow them a little time to vent, as you do, and then ask them to go over the 5 things that worked good that week. We spent time dwelling on those things then talked about what they could do to positively change the dramas into triumphs. Your clients are very lucky to have you as a coach. It's easy to get into a slump, but sometimes hard to choose to get out of one. You very gently, yet firmly help them choose to come out! Congratulations on being so gifted!
ReplyDeleteHi Pat,
ReplyDeleteLove the idea of a five thing a week journal. Can I steal that from you? Great ideas should be shared, I feel. I am happy to share with you anything you find useful...
I am starting some parenting groups, and it would be a good idea for that, too.
Thanks again for your encouraging words.