Sunday night I couldn't sleep. My back tooth was throbbing, a pain like never before radiated through my jaw. This is bad news, I thought. An infection for sure. At 7:00 AM, I phoned the dentist and by 5:00, I had part one of a root canal.
This morning, I am feeling a tiny bit better. I am on antibiotics and they are helping the infection. Whatever the Endodontist did to my nerve helped relieve the worst pain. Now I can finally reflect on what this all means in my big life picture.
The first thing that comes to mind is that my toothache was sent to me to learn humility and compassion. My dad was with me for the Rosh Hashanah Holiday this past weekend, and he was suffering from his own tooth problems. He had five teeth extracted, and his new denture was so uncomfortable that he could not chew. I had empathy the first few times he spoke about his pain, but lost patience sometime during the Friday night meal. I couldn't hear it anymore, as my dad has a tendency to ruminate and repeat and lament the past. It was making me CRAZY! So, I politely asked that he not discuss his tooth problem at the table. My 21 year old daughter reprimanded me for not having patience for my dad, saying it was okay for him to say whatever he wanted. I felt that she was undermining me, which triggered me to lash out at her. Let's just say it wasn't my proudest moment.
When my tooth started to ache two days later, I immediately thought of my dad. I could have been more kind and loving to him. I did take good care of him throughout the weekend, but his repetitiveness can grate on my nerves. I think that I am being called to do the internal work necessary to have more patience. It is where my life keeps pointing me, and it's a lesson well taken.
Last night, when my 14 year old did not ask me once how I was feeling, I realized how much I needed empathy. I told her how much pain I had been in, and she politely said that she couldn't really hear it. She said, "Mom, remember how you couldn't listen to Zaidy (my dad) talk about his teeth anymore. I feel the same way." Ouch, what goes around comes around!
So, with humility, I will admit that I need to work on patience, compassion, and giving even when it feels hard. I will try really hard to keep my ego in check so that I can be more open to what other people need.
What reality check have you recently had? What did you learn from it?
Posts
It really is uncomfortable when our words come back to haunt us through someone else. I've had that happen before with my daughters as well.
ReplyDeleteBe encouraged, though, because now that you see it, the battle is won! Now each time a situation comes up, you'll KNOW what to do.
Thank you for sharing your life so openly. I know it touches many to know that you go through stuff too, just like they do, and have come out the other side. What tremendous encouragement to those who don't know which way to move forward.
As always, you have a positive outlook on what I write. You are so encouraging, it makes me smile!
ReplyDeleteYou are a great student of life yourself.
Thanks for the comment, Pat.