Nurturing the Nurturer

Yesterday morning, while working with my coach, Jane, I came up with a name for a new program I am about to launch: Nurturing the Nurturer. A common thread in my coaching practice is burned out women who are taking care of everyone but themselves. For some reason, I am attracting these women to my practice, so I did some digging to find out why. 

I didn't have to dig very deep. I grew up with a mom who nurtured us all by providing delicious, sometimes over the top meals and keeping us impeccably dressed. We have many photographs of the four of us kids in adorable matching outfits. She cooked all of the food for my brothers' bar mitzvahs. My dad's chronic depression often led to his dysfunction, and she felt she had to fix things for him. She was often exhausted and angry.

I have been working on my own sense of balance in the nurturing arena. I have struggled for many years with balancing my need to please and give to others, and my resentment when others didn't give back. 

When I realized that I had become a nurturer/martyr, I knew that change was in order. Here are some of the keys to what I did.

How to Nurture Others Without Losing Yourself

1. Before saying yes to helping others, check in with yourself. 

2. Make sure you are not piling too much on your plate. 

3. Are you taking time for your self every day?

4. Learn to say no!

5. Ask for help.

I invite you to take one or more of the above points and practice it this week. Let me know what shifts for you. Any martyr/nurturers out there? Share your story!